Severe Major Depressive Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder are the labels that I have been tagged with but it is not who I am. Behind all of the smoke and mirrors of mental illness stands a human being just like you.
I am a father to a boy who I would gladly spend my life in hell if it meant his life was full of joy and happiness. I am that person who answers complete strangers seeking out assistance not because I have to but because I want too. Since I was a small child surrounded by chaos every time I saw someone in distress I tried to help for it warms my soul and as a human being I am suppose to help others in need. I have dreams of my future that are very similar to yours as it would be nice to be a millionaire but more importantly I want my family to be safe and happy.
I know what I am capable of and I have seen my absolute bottom but yet I keep fighting and have the will to go on. Everything in my life that I thought was important was taken away in the change of the winds leaving me naked and screaming for an answer. I have come to realize that parts of my personality is less then ideal so I decided to wipe the slate clean and start over from scratch. Now I am learning everything that I should have known already and trying to mold myself into the person I want to be.
Who am I? A puzzle that is incomplete. Take care.
Who I Am
Labels: mental health, perception
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1 comments:
I think this is a great post. Sooo many people only see the disorder or bad behaviors. Of the people in my life that I either know have or suspect of having BPD I get the same response from others every time I express that I still care about this or that person. How could you? They did this...they did that. Even my therapist doesnt fully get it. Well...its because I've seperated the human from the illness and while...yeah...they have hurt me in many ways many times over they have also done A LOT for me in terms of helping me figure some of my shit out...either directly or in-directly. You/they are not defined by a diagnosis of mental illness any more than a poor person is defined by their poverty.
Besides...I think what a lot of people fail to realize is that we ALL can act a little borderline, NPD, self-absorbed, etc. sometimes so if I can forgive these other "sane" people for their moments of selfishness/f'd up behavior then I can forgive the guy, friend, lover, brother, etc. who has a diagnosis or more readily identifiable traits too.
Too many judgemental people in this world.
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