Discussion Of Triggers

Tonight's group was all about triggers and what a person can do when a trigger takes place. I realized rather quickly what I consider to be a trigger and what the course material considers to be a trigger is a world apart. The course talks about things such as someone talking down to you or someone yelling or certain dates and what have you but where my differences popped in where the reaction and suggestive tool that is suppose to follow. I have triggers where my heart jumps that may be helped by these new coping tools but I also have triggers that will send me screaming and hiding under the covers waiting for who knows what to disappear. My "extreme" triggers is why I agreed to join this group in the first place for once I pass six or seven on the trigger severity scale I basically only have one answer which is self harm.

I have spent the last few sessions in the group trying to think of a coping tool that I can use which will be able to meet the high end triggers yet at the same time are seen as acceptable and will keep my butt off the psych ward. Unfortunately for me I have no clue what could take self harms place. I am getting better at identifying a dangerous pattern early on and a number of the group suggestions may add to this tool box which is great but my brain is still focused on the fear of the triggers that will leave their mark.

In the last year or so people have made comments how I seem to be more at ease and calmer than I have been and I wish I could say I used so and so techniques or read so and so book or my so and so counselor is the reason but the truth in the matter is 95% of it is medication. If my meds do what they are suppose to do and I take them and do all of the other things surrounding them on schedule I can pull off the appearance of someone who has their ducks in order. Unfortunately I have run into situations that still cause great difficulty and my brain still likes to dig through the past in order to inflict chaos.

Back to the group where I am now wondering if this is the right place for me or would I be better off just waiting for a more specific group. Stupid part is the main concern is if I drop the group how will it make me look to my counselor and/or doctor which I doubt in the grand scheme of things should even matter.

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